Alopecia's not that bad .... At least you've got your health. Right!
The amount of people who say to me "oh well, at least you've got your health even if you don't have your hair!" Has reached the point of being un-countable. YES I am aware that Alopecia in itself does not make me sick and for that I am very grateful. But recent (and by recent I mean the past six years almost!) events have left me wondering if I actually do still have full health??
Let's start at the beginning to avoid me rambling on ...... When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter 6 years ago I developed a nasty case of phnuemonia and was hospitalized. The fever brought on early labour and doctors delayed labour until my lungs were clear enough to give me a good shot at a natural birth. I recovered, my daughter was delivered and all was well. Naturally I was worn out for the first few months after her birth like all new mums are I'm sure! But that exhaustion never left me and it's only this past year I've realised that the fatigue and exhaustion that's still with me effects me on a daily basis. Then the pain started. My joints ache, my muscles burn, I can sleep and sleep and sleep yet I feel no better for it and I'd for to the point where I was questioning my sanity!
MRI scans were done and came back all clear. Blood tests were done and came back all clear. Great! I don't want to be sick after all. But why did I still feel as crappy as I did before even when the doctors were telling me that they couldn't find anything wrong with me. I continued to struggle through most days, running the business and trying to cope with family life. I'll admit that as positive a person as I am I started to feel more than a little fed up!
"It sounds like your depressed" one doctor said to me a few months ago "I'll write you a prescription for a low dose of anti depressants ..... Let's see how you get on" he continued. "But I'm not depressed!" I told him. "How do you know your not!" He shot back at me .... "How do you know I am!?" I snapped back out of frustration. The doctor sighed and looked back to his computer screen. Tap, tap, tap "it says here you suffered from depression as a teenager" . And he turned almost smugly to look at me. I stayed calm and through gritted teeth responded with "that was over 15 years ago, I'm not depressed now"
I left feeling deflated and angry.
Then, one Friday afternoon I was in the salon and my vision suddenly dropped. By dropped I mean I just couldn't focus. Kind of like being really drunk ...... I just couldn't quite see things properly even with my glasses on. I managed to call my dad and he told me to go straight around the corner to the opticians and ask for help. Feeling like a total loon I made my way around the corner and stumbled into the opticians. They were kind enough to examine me there and then and, after testing my current glasses prescription she was shocked at how my eyes had deteriated. "Your vision just changed right now! Just like that?" She said. I nodded. She was concerned, and also commented on how dry my eyes were which I found strange.
So now I'm aware that what I intended on being a short blog post has turned into a looooooooong post! Oops, sorry about that LOL to cut this long story short I have been recently diagnosed with M.E /CFS and fibromyalgia. So I'm sat here in bed on my iPad asking myself ..... Do I still have my health? I hope so. Gary has been fantastic (as always) and he's put me on a gluten free, sugar free, caffeine free (fun free!) eating plan which I'm going to try hard to stick to :)
I know from the ladies I meet with everyday that M.E/CFS and fibromyalgia are common amongst us ladies with Alopecia. Fingers crossed the doctors and scientists make the connection and find out why some of us suffer from these things .... And some of us don't.
That's my grumble for the day :D